Pushing Child Too Hard..Is It OK?


In the present day scenario, we see a lot of cases in which children go in depression, get addicted to drugs, smoking or drinking alcohol, become net addicts, get involved in criminal activities and sometimes in, extreme cases, even commit suicide. When such cases arise, we just say that the child may be too stressed, may have been neglected by the parents and may have not received right parental guidance.But do you try to reason out for such behavior of the children, or try to find who is actually responsible for them? You shall be shocked to know that the main cause of the present situation of your child is no one else but ‘You’. Yes you are responsible for driving your child to stress and depression, the root cause of all the above mentioned problems. 

In the present social scenario, just when the mother conceives, it is decided as to what the child shall become. If it’s a boy, he should be an engineer and if it is a girl, she shall be a doctor. When the child becomes around 2 years old, the parents start deciding which school their child shall go in. It is like the parents are living their life through the child and not letting him live. A number of constraints are put on the child as to what he shall do, where he shall go. As soon as he reaches 9th they can understand in 10th dreams and wishes are not even asked about. If by mistake he says that he wants to be a sportsperson or a theatre artist, he is emotionally blackmailed to give up his dreams and live up to the social reputation his family has. After that, he is asked to study hard in the and 12th 11th exams so that he can get into the best college. So much so the child is enrolled to the coaching classes for the same that adds to the emotional burden and stress the child is already facing.Under the burden of stress of expectations, if the child fails to meet the level of expectations, he starts avoiding people, likes to stay alone and becomes reserved and  shows traits of depression. Also, when the child is compared to others, he develops an inferiority complex. He looks for other sources of entertainment instead of socializing. The easiest escape route is the internet. At the single click of the mouse, he/she has access to all the information of the world. 

Be it good, be it bad. When he learns from other people that smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol helps forget the stress and gives a feeling of happiness, he tries it and gets false and temporary elation, he becomes addicted to it in the absence of proper guidance. Also, once he gets addicted to smoking and alcohol, he may try his hands on other addictive drugs. Further to meet his needs for standard, he is told to work hard and get his basics right so that properly and score more than 90% to get science stream. To have a top scoring rank in the 12th the addictive’s he starts making fake excuses to his family member’s to get money for the same. And if he doesn’t get the money, starts stealing. Some children, for some reason or the other, fear trying the above mentioned stuff, and they go into depression and if they get too depressed, may end up committing suicide. 

What do we DO? How DO We Battle this trouble? For fighting all these issues, firstly, we have to make the children our friends. That way, we shall be able to make them more frank with us and they can share their troubles and worries with us. Secondly, it is necessary to let the children have space of their own. If they are not given enough breathing space, they shall suffocate and it shall lead to the above mentioned consequences. The parents should not make their children a mode of fulfilling their own unfulfilled wishes. If a child has a dream, let him live up to that dream and achieve what he wants to. Another important thing to be kept in mind is that, never compare your child with anybody else, not even with his/her sibling. Also, don’t compare your own childhood achievements with their achievements. Remember, times change and with them the scenarios. The parents should support the child in his decisions, discussing as to what are the reasons of him choosing the field of his choice and the pros and cons of the field and guiding him. Also if required, try and get him to talk to experienced people in his field of desire. If the child faces failure, instead of scolding and shouting for poor performance, parents should discuss the reasons of poor performance and sit down with the kid to solve them. By following this, in my opinion, we may have a better child-parent relationship and a bright future for the young generation.



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